One for the road..

A beautiful idea.

I wish we had the internet in my day!

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a relaxing few days over the festive period. Expect sheer, unshakeable boredom to set in pretty darn soon, heralding, no doubt, a posting frenzy.

Have a good one!

Carting around a lot of baggage.

For anyone who doesn’t recognise the irony of Jimmy Carter being denied a visa to enter Zimbabwe this week, I really recommend this article.

Just because it has a fluffy bunny tail and fluffy bunny ears and a fluffy bunny hoppity walk, it doesn’t mean that it has the temperament of a fluffy bunny, Jimmy. You of all people should know that.

I pwn fandom.

 

Norlando Bloom

I am having great difficulty understanding the complete, utter pandemonium that seems to surround that there guy in the picture lately. all because he’s in a film about a vampire who falls in love with a human (hm, where have I heard something like that before?). I mean, I would definitely understand the hype, as any ex-fangirl would, if Robert Pattinson were in any way hot, but look at him, people! His eyebrows are too bushy, his chin is too square, his hair is too messy… Even his pout is too surly! I swear, all this crazy Pattinson Luv is surely a bad sign for fandom as we know it. This is what teenage girls of today have to make do with? In my day, even vampires weren’t as stereotypically, well, shit. I worry that these kids don’t even know what they’re missing out on.

Despite my confusion concerning ol’ R-Patt, I do, naturally, understand the craze to a certain extent. I was the queen of fangirly lust back in my day — the object of my affections being this man:

 

Squee, indeed.

Look at him there, in all his half-naked manly glory. Yes, Orlando Bloom was my slighty girlish with a hint of danger, yet oh-so-chaste, crush of choice. This was all many moons ago, of course, and for the last five years or so, I definitely considered myself to be over both him and embarrassing fangirl infatuation. In fact, I was over both him and embarrassing fangirl infatuation! Now, let me briefly rewind nine months, to the 2008 BAFTA ceremony. I hadn’t even planned to go. Himself and myself just so happened to be strolling through London when we came upon the crowds. And what fun we had, pointing excitedly at such amazing celebrities as Nicky Clarke, Hairdresser to the Stars, and none other than Sting’s wife, Trudi What’shername! Himself kept asking me if I wanted to go up on his shoulders. and I kept refusing, because I’m desperately afraid of any type of heights, and also, I’m not a big losehead. So anyway, about thirty seconds later, a new car rolls up, and someone gets out. I can’t see who it is from where I’m standing, so I try to make out what other people are saying. Martin Coombe? Temple of Doom? Setanta Womb?

Oh. My. God. 

Orlando Bloom! The next few moments are a bit of a blur, but they went something like this:

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Orlando Bloom. IT’S ORLANDO BLOOM!!! Let me up on your shoulders, your shoulders… Now! LET ME UP ON YOUR GODDAMN SHOULDERS, YOU PRICK!!! *punch* OH MY GOD!! ORLANDO! OVER HERE!!! Oh my god, he looked at me, he saw me, he definitely saw me, oh my god, oh my god…!”

So you see, when it’s a battle between my morbid fear of heights and Orlando Bloom, Orlando wins. And when it comes to twenty-something mental stability and maturity, and teenage derangement and insanity, well, you’ve been reading this post. 

I don’t know. I guess they just don’t make pretty-boy actors like they used to. However, fangirls definitely haven’t changed. I just really hope that one day, in about five years, when Robert Pattinson is just another, hairy, slightly bloated, washed-up actor, he’ll go to the BAFTAs and inspire a similar reaction to my Blooming ridiculous one this year in a twenty-one year old young woman who really should know better, but fuck it, she hasn’t changed that much. 

So yeah, my fifteen year old self can pwn my twenty-one year old self any day of the week. But those R-Patt fans will never, ever pwn the Orli fans of my teenage years. Bah — I’d like to see them try!

Just an afterthought..

How is Barney going to cope with living in Texas all the time? I bet he’ll miss the snow in Washington, D.C. 

I’m hoping that for the 2008 Christmas special, they get Barack Obama involved. He definitely needs to make a cameo! If the Obama’s have picked out their puppy by then, maybe he could be in it too, although there is the fear that Barney and the new puppy may not get along. Especially seeing as Barney is a little cranky these days.. 

Anyway, just to get them in early, my predictions for 2012 are Romney and possibly Newt Gingrich, although it’s obviously way too early to make VP predictions. However, I do reckon that unless Obama/Biden screw up royally, they will get a second term. But, as this election has undoubtedly shown us all — in politics, you really can never know for sure..

Hallowe’en 2008

Hallowe’en was fun! I went as Sarah Palin, a costume which I was not expecting many people to cop on to, as all I did was put my hair in an up-do, wear lipstick and my glasses, and carry an American flag. But everyone did actually seem to get it, which was really great! The comments you get when dressed as Palin are hilarious, although my personal favourite was definitely, “no offence now, because you really look like her, so no offence like — but I really, really hate Sarah Palin!” Sob. I seemed to be the only Palin at the Freakscene Hallowe’en Ball, too, which was cool. I guess it would have been a very different story had I gone out in America, but over here, nobody seemed to be digging the Alaskan Governor as a possible costume choice. It was definitely a hit though, so I’m glad I went for it! Although, I was certainly no Obama campaigner! (Long story). 

Unfortunately, it does look as though this was the only year worth dressing up as Sarah Palin before she fades into obscurity once more. Although Obama’s lead is back within the margin of error once again, I am still doubtful of a Republican victory on Tuesday. Never say never, obviously, but still, it doesn’t look too good. 

Maybe next year I’ll drag along a doll and go as Bristol! She’s bound to still be somewhat famous by then, regardless of what happens this week, thanks to her recent Jamie Lynn Spears-style notriety! 

Anyway, this is probably my last post before the election, although I may blog on Tuesday night if the mood takes me. Until then, I’ll sit tight, keep an eye on the polls, and wait with baited breath until Wednesday, which will certainly be an interesting day no matter what the outcome..

The things old people say..

“I don’t know will that Barack Obama be much good as President.. Although, I suppose he will be good for the blacks..”

– My ninety seven year old grandaunt’s take on election 08.

I think the civil rights movement may have passed her by a bit.

Incidentally, how hard is it to believe that the election is just one week away? It’s exciting, but also unbelievably weird. It seems like just yesterday we were gearing up for the Republican primaries.. Sadly disregarding Rudy Giuliani.. Putting all our weight behind Mitt Romney.. Never quite accepting John McCain.. Delighting in the Veep pick.. And then watching the GOP ticket flounder dramatically in the polls. A rollercoaster ride of a year, about to reach its conclusion!

I’ve almost accepted that the President-elect will be Obama, but either way, this day next week is going to be pretty interesting, and the same can probably be said for the next four years, too. Roll on 11/4!

Wowed by technology.

iTunes Genius is really great. It just made this neato playlist for me, using ‘Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)’ as the seed song:

1. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) — Backstreet Boys
2. Pop — N*Sync
3. Bad — Michael Jackson
4. Lovefool — The Cardigans
5. Faith — George Michael
6. LDN — Lily Allen
7. California Dreamin’ — The Mamas and The Papas
8. Changes — David Bowie
9. True — Spandau Ballet
10. Wuthering Heights — Kate Bush
11. The Boxer — Simon and Garfunkel
12. Daydream Believer — The Monkees
13. Bring It All Back — S Club 7
14. There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart) — Eurythmics
15. Oh My God — Lily Allen
16. Again & Again — The Bird and The Bee
17. Love Will Tear Us Apart — Joy Division
18. The Way You Make Me Feel — Michael Jackson
19. I Touch Myself — The Divinyls
20. Gold — Spandau Ballet
21. Wouldn’t It Be Nice — The Beach Boys
22. Knowing Me, Knowing You — ABBA
23. Back For Good — Take That
24. Love Today — Mika
25. Never Ever — All Saints

It seems rather random, and I don’t quite get it, but still! Best. Playlist. Ever! Cheers, Genius!

Girl, Shut the F**k Up.

Or, Why I Hate Angelina Jolie.

I never used to find Angelina Jolie particularly offensive. In fact, I quite liked her in Girl, Interrupted. That’s a good film, and she performed well in it, and I still think that she deserved her Oscar. But, since then, I have not seen her in a single good film, and she has been fairly darn bad in each one of those sub-standard films. It’s kind of like the curse of Halle Berry, except for one, inexplicable reason: Angelina Jolie still manages to be one of the most famous, worshipped, and admired women in the world (sorry, Halle).

About five years ago, Jolie was something of an enigma. You never really heard much of her, except that she was kind of weird, and, least anyone forget — very, very beautiful. Kind of like Kate Moss, actually. And then she adopted Maddox. And fell madly in adulterous (but we forgive them, for some strange reason) love with Brad Pitt. And adopted Pax. And Zahara. And Peaches and Fifi (she’s the shit one who nobody cares about) Geldof. And that kid from Two And A Half Men. And you! And she gave birth, too, to three other kids with silly names (well, Vivienne is normal enough, but y’know)! And now she wants another child! Hurray! See, I wouldn’t have a problem with all this silly child adoption/bearing, if herself and Brad kept the joy of having a baby to themselves — which, in fairness, they pretty much did after the first twelve. But ever since they had the twins, it seems that all we hear about is how much Angelina loves childrens, and how she wants more children, and how much she loves Brad, and how she wants to save the world, and how, oh dear, she might have to take a break from acting to raise all the kids (although some might remark that she took a rather extended break from acting about six years ago..). Oh! And she breastfeeds! And she wants you to see her breastfeed! Because breastfeeding, girls and boys, is something unique to amazing, Virgin Mary-like mothers such as Angelina, and not something that women have been doing since the dawn of time.

What I want to know is does Brad breastfeed, too?

Maybe now that Madge and Guy are divorced, Angelina can swoop in there and adopt their children, too. Just to avoid a bitter custody battle, you know? 

So, yeah. The moral of the story here is, basically, that I am really, really sick to the death of Angelina Jolie. People have been having big families for centuries, and most of these people are not multi-millionaires with a huge team of nannies. So shut up about it, Brangelina, and stop parading your children around the place to milk the novelty of them for all it’s worth. Adopt as many darn kiddies as you want. Just stop going on about it. 

Oh, and to get my two cents into the whole Suri vs. Shiloh debate — I think Suri is much cuter! What say you? 

Why is it that…

The smell of chlorine is just nigh-on impossible to dislodge? I went swimming today, and ten hours and two showers later, I still smell of the stuff. It’s annoying, but swimming was great! I’ll definitely be doing more of it. I always forget how much fun it is. And with free use of the Mardyke pool, I may as well pop down there every once in a while.

In other news, I watched the Vice-Presidential debate earlier, and was very impressed with Palin’s performance. This was definitely the Palin that we saw just after she had been announced as McCain’s VP pick — confident, bubbly, and seemingly ready for anything. After a disastrous few weeks for both her and the Republican campaign in general, it was nice to see her get things back on track in Missouri last night. Well, back on track for her own public profile, in any case.. As for the GOP ticket, though, things still aren’t looking to great. Obama still has a pretty significant lead in the polls — including Rasmussen — and sure, a lot can happen in an election race in the few weeks before voting day, but I really do feel that, unless McCain can pull out some amazing, show-stopping performances in the remaining two debates, the executive is going to be turning blue in 2009. The ball is just not in McCain’s court anymore. But hey, never say never! A lot really can happen in a month.. I’ll just wait around for Obama to make a huge blunder. 

However, given that he seems to be the very personification of perfection itself, it looks as though I may be waiting a while..